“I’m pissed, this isn’t how my story is supposed to go.”
Last night I was sitting with my husband and we were discussing this blog. He felt it is important for me to chronicle what he’s going through, he’s not much of a writer nor does he like to share. So we talked about what he would like me to share or not share here and his thoughts where basically he wants to keep the blog “Real”for a lack of better words.
He said to me don’t sugar coat how I feel, don’t make it better or worse, just write the truth. I asked him how he felt and he said “I’m pissed, this isn’t how my story is supposed to go.” still in shock and disbelief right now he is very angry “I’m not sad, I’m not afraid to die but this shouldn’t be happening.”
He also expressed that he wanted me to chronicle the changes we’ve made in foods we eat and supplements he is taking. He felt it is important that his kids can go back and look and see what might have helped or not helped.
One of the biggest irritations for my husband is hearing someone say to him “I don’t know” and now he’s hit with a disease where all we hear is I don’t know. How’d this happen “I don’t know” will this work “I don’t know”and so forth and so on. I believe this is adding to his frustration and anger. He wants answers but it seems that with Multiple Myeloma there are no answers to be had.
Although his Chemo shot earlier yesterday seemed uneventful after taking his Revlimid he fell to sleep pretty quickly only to be awakened at 5 am with a horrible bout of hiccups. Turns out that Hiccups can be a side effect of the chemo meds. So This morning I reached out to the nurse and they put him on Prilosec OTC. I’m not 100% sure how that’s going to help but here is it 1:35 pm and he still has them, we are going to try the Prilosec and see hopefully this will take care of the issue. So far as of today and granted we are only one day in this seems to be his only side effect I’m hoping and praying the med will work and we can continue to get through the treatments with little to no effects.