“I can’t do this… I can’t”
This is how we spent most of our morning,
Today was the first time in our entire 10 years as a couple that I’ve ever had to help him get dressed, put his coat on, and walk. The first time I’ve ever heard him say “I can’t do this”. What an absolutely horrifying experience this is for me, for us.
Before I got on to tell you what happened let me give you a little background info. In the late 90’s my father was diagnosis with Pulmonary Fibrosis and given a 3-5 year life expectancy. He survived without oxygen until late 2010 when he went in for prostate surgery and on April 21, 2011 he died in my arms. I watched him go from a strong independent person to a frail man who needed help moving.
As I helped my husband this morning the flood of memories of my dad’s last days just hit me. My husband is young 48 vibrant and never has he been sick not even with a cold so to see him like this terrifies me to the core.
The hiccups did not stop, they gave him a few different meds that he tried and nothing. Finally after another sleepless night he awoke with a temperature of 102.7. I immediately called the doc and they had him go right in to get checked. They found his blood count to be in good order and believe the temperature is due to lack of sleep. They also gave him a shot of Thorazine which seems to have knocked him out and I haven’t notice any signs of the hiccups reappearing we hope this will have knocked it out of his system. They also gave him Baclofen as back up and are reducing the amount of steroids he’s takes weekly from 10 pills to 5. I hope this helps it’s hard watching him struggle and not even be able to hold his head up and it almost feels like it just came on so suddenly.
Right now he’s in bed sleeping, I’m letting his body make up for the lost days of sleep as I sit here with a mug of coffee trying to get my head on straight.
